July 12th, 2010
The Empty Plate. Photo: Torkil Stavdal
Food love? I am sure it is…or maybe not?
I was in Paris as I wrote this. Drinking grand cafe noir, dipping my croissant in it. It tastes sooooo good…..??
Stop. Wait a minute. As I sit here and take it all in. Having waited for this moment of “the real thing” for quite awhile (I had not been back in Paris for some time). The real thing is not a great as I remember it!
What happened? So often in New York I have found myself with cravings for exactly that. The grand cafe noir and a croissant. And here I am in Paris craving my organic green jasmine tea and a sprouted grain lump of bread instead. So have I been longing for Paris instead? Probably. I love being in Paris. It feels like a second home to me.
See I realized, I actually get better coffee at home when I order an Americano and I find that the croissants are far better there too. Crispy and all. I even got the best croissant in a long time in London!
Now it might sound like I have been croissant hopping and shopping through the countries. Not quite. But. Croissants and strong coffee does carry a charge for me. Now I discover that the long longed for croissant of Paris is far less attractive than I remembered it. I think I even just discovered that I don’t actually really like croissants that much. And for that matter. I actually like my tea better too than coffee.
What is it about memories of food that keep us so stuck craving them over and over again? The memory is exactly what is so vivid for me, because in my daily life I actually don’t eat croissants nor drink coffee anymore.
I have very few food memory attachments left. I think the croissant was the last one actually. From here on I’m free! What helps is that I really really enjoy and like how I eat now.
Many struggle with cravings and have food attachments. If we take the red string that ties the food and the memory together, we probably find that it is the memory that keeps the food-love alive more than the actual food. This is for example often true of the old foods from childhood. They are often comfort foods long into adulthood. Even after our taste buds and daily preferences have changed to a more nuanced palate.
Food memories hold such power. During the last months of my father’s life I would cook him one of his favorite meals from his childhood and youth everyday. I was convinced I kept him alive for longer actually, because he wanted one more of those meals. He also wanted to listen to a lot if the music he had listened to in his youth and especially from the time where he and my mom where first married. He was certainly bringing back the memories to feel comforted towards the end of his life.
This is probably one of the major reason we are so triggered so much by food. When we smell or see something that triggers a memory, just remembering does not seem to be enough. We still want to also eat the food. But if we can cherish the memory that the food brings to us instead, then we can let go of our attachments. I do actually know that the croissant and coffee always was about Paris to me. This is how I can appreciate the craving for bringing me the memory instead of being upset at it and feeling like I have to fight it.
The thing is that our mind and imagination is so powerful that just thinking we are doing it can create the comfort we need. So I can use the smell of coffee and croissants to bring me back to Paris so to speak, without actually eating and drinking it, and without boarding a plane.
Cravings are also more than food attachments to a memories. Sometimes it is a message for needing carbs, fat, protein or salt. Our bodies however do not know to call it a croissant with coffee. My mind is making that connection.
Paris anyone?
Tags: better health, cravings, eating well, emotional eating, food and health, food attachments, food matters, managing weight, natural healing, new way of living, self-care, self-nourishment
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June 21st, 2009
The scale on the bathroom floor or the internal one by which we measure our health are two very different ways of weighing in on what is going on with your health and your body. Many struggle with the numbers on the scale and many clients come to me expecting one in my office. There isn’t one. I believe we each need our individual relationship to our scale as an instrument of information. I certainly do not want to be using it to measure the progress of my clients since that number is but a number. How we use the information is very important to how we see ourselves. A scale is a measure of relativity.
See I got up this morning and I gained 2 llb overnight. Wow. Wait a minute. I just spent one month losing 4! What is wrong with this picture? The scale is! And this morning I actually felt really good -and slender. So those 2 llb must be someone else’s!
See the scale gives me a number that I fortunately don’t trust much. Sure it tells me my weight in a given moment. But it does not tell me my size since muscles weigh more that fat. Nor does it tell me how I feel physically or gives me my measure of well-being.
I do use my scale though, even if I’m not sure it is actually correct because it is probably about as old as me. Which means 46 for those who might wonder. So yes I am supposed to be in the age where it is harder to manage my weight. And I am sure it is for a lot of people. But for me – the scale helps me do that. It gives me the relativity that I need to stay within a range that I have decided works for me. But that range is easily 4 llb more or less.
The scale holds such power for so many though. It also holds the mood of the day, the level of self-esteem, and a judgement that we will never win. It is a bit like the stock market. It can go up and down a lot in one day, but over time it gives but a tool to keep in range with ones goal for weight management. If we put too much value on the number on the scale we can end up feeling horrible about our weight and with that comes emotional eating, which tends to squeeze that number on the scale in the wrong direction.
I do get on my scale more or less every day, but I pretty much forget what the number said within the second I get off. I use it more as a tool for seeing how well my body is doing. That means. Is it holding on to too much of yesterdays foods or processing it well.
Reality is unfortunately that it is so much easier to gain weight than to lose. 1 llb per week is a good average weight-loss, but many have heard of these miracle cures where you drop a lot of weight in a few weeks. We are not talking about the same matter of weight though. Water weight and false fat certainly holds pounds and size but the weight that creeps up on you over time is the fat and that is also what takes more effort to get rid of. This is often why someone hits that bump in the road of weight-loss. Once the initial easy false fat comes off, it is time to get into the nitty gritty and by then most lose the motivation because there is not as much progress and it takes more effort.
One must for long-term weight-loss is consistency. But the scale will not be. It will swing. It measures everything. How much water you drank. The amout of food that is in your stomach. And what is in the process of travelling through your body’s system. Which by the way can take a few days depending on what you ate.
So the true scale is the one by which you measure your progress of making healthy choices. With more and more consistency. And then the true size is the one you feel best at. That does not have a number. It has a sound. Ahhhhhh. I feel goooodddd.
Now go put a smiley face on your scale where the numbers used to be or write “I Love Me” in big bold letters. 
Enjoy balancing your scale,
Yours in health and joy
Jeanette
Tags: better health, emotional eating, healthy life-style, long-term weight-loss, managing weight, self-care, weight-loss
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